Last week Nathan G. stayed for a few day along with his daughter and another friend. He was going through his graduation ceremony. His parents also came, although they stayed at another house. It was one of those very satisfying visits that make you so thankful for long friendships and make you wish that time and circumstances allowed for more frequent visits.
A long time ago, another friend of ours (MTN) once coined a phrase something like a "circle of ten". This stemmed from a political picnic where candidates running for local office gave their short stump speeches. MTN commented during the picnic that rather than say what most politicos did about why you should vote for them because of they had the answer to the city's problem, he would say that you should vote for him because his circle of ten, close friends with all different expertise, perspectives, and political leanings that could advise him. From that point in time, I started to think of that circle of friends as our circle of ten. Since that time, almost all of them have moved away from our fair city. Having Nathan G. back, along with Greg who has become a vicarious circle of ten member thru the e-mail conversations, back brought back the feeling of those halcyon days of young academic conversations, hopes and fears, and aspirations.
There are too many highlights and conversations of the visit to really recount, including a great BBQ and Wii tennis, but I think one of the most interesting and meaningful conversations was one about parenting with Nathan, his parents and I. I think all of the circle of ten, even those who retained the political party of their parents, tended to have grown up to have a very different world view than their parents, even while retaining the faith of their fathers. Our approach to life, to parenting, and to the gospel is strongly colored by our experience with our parents and by our academic training and to some extent I suppose by feeling more at home in the Mormon diaspora rather than in the heartland of Zion. It really was an impressively open conversation about disciplinary strategies, the role of parents, the meaning of family, etc... Hearing from three sides, the father, the mother, and the son now an experienced father in his own right, and the differences in the meaning of particular earlier events to the three of them was greatly enlightening. It also made me sad that in this life at least, I would never have such a three-way conversation.
I should also add that in the background of all this conversation is the reality that Nathan's other daughter had just undergone a bone marrow transplant with the hope that this will enable her to overcome a rare genetic disorder that has left her on the edge of death too many times. This little girl has been such an inspiration to us all as she has so bravely soldiered through with a sweet smile and love for everyone for so long all the hospital stays, tests, procedures, daily feeding through a tube, that have been part and parcel of her young life. We all pray that the transplant works and that she will one day get to live a pretty normal life.
